Wednesday, March 29, 2006
big fat liar
picture this:
you're in town, shopping, when you spot an acquaintance in the mass of people
you aren't sure why, but you dodge behind a pillar, pretending not to see him/her.
It may look like your avoiding an enemy, a hostile ex bf/gf or the bitchy queen bee of the mean girls clique from
high school. But no, he/she is a friend of a friend. AND, is quite affable, to boot.
sounds familiar?
well, you're not alone.
i hate small talk too.
hypothetically, small talk equates= lies
to avert any talk like,
"how are you, duhling! *muah-muah air kisses*"
"well, im great, hun! just great. *beams*"
even if you are feeling down in the dumps or on anti depressants, you'd claim you're well and all that crap.
i figure there are mainly 3 categories of lying:
Confabulation-you make bullshit up to cover up that may be really far-fetched
( i was late because this flying saucer snatched me up and the little bald headed guys inside made me stay for a tea party)
Denial-a psychological defense mechanism where confrontation with reality is avoided
(you're accusing me of playing with myself in the shower just because i was in there for an extended 30 mins? slanderous accusations! you don't have any hidden cameras in there now, do you?)
Omission-where you overlook doing something
( Katy's hair looks like crap today.She's a good friend, i'm sure she'd want to know and forgive me for telling her so)
Think about the number of times a day you lie.
Come on, if you count all three types of lying, i bet you can't even begin to add it all up.
PLUS those small talks. sheesh
So if you happen to see me acting all flaky, unhinged and resorting to desperate means to avoid you, I'm sorry, it doesn't mean i bear any grudges against you.
It merely means i'm on my day off from lying.
And think about it! You'll be glad i did that, because i'm sure you'd like to shun away from having to fib once again too.
sparkle in glamourous divine with Miss Vainity on Wednesday, March 29, 2006
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
technologeek disclaimer
ignominious failure!
yes. It's official, im computer illiterate.
i am prehistoric in our modern world of advanced technology
don't ask me what html stands for. I GOT NO FRIGGING CLUE.
sparkle in glamourous divine with Miss Vainity on Wednesday, March 22, 2006
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Sunday, March 19, 2006
the name game
Okay; quit bugging already! After what seemed like (yeh, i know) FOREVER, im back onto the next post
Been real caught up with stuff and you could say, suffering from writer's block. gacks.
My major pet peeve.
Don't you just get so hung up and cranky when you can't think of anything to say or write?
Used to get it whenever my english teachers gave me some boring shit to write about. Just typical of them to do so. They glom on whatever boring topic they can find and make it five thousand times worse.
*catches my breathe*
okay, enough bitching.
Right, so. the other day during my piano lesson, my piano teacher was telling us about
some hilarious names her students had. You wouldn't believe how dense their parents can
get. How would you like it if you were named Peppermint? or Rainbow?
NO KIDDING!
i mean, it is kinda cute and all that when you're in baby OshKosh B'Gosh, glued to the pacifier OR a pet hamster. But think about it.
When you're all grown up, It would be anything but CUTE. It'll be HUMILIATING.
scene number 1:
"HEY Peppermint! You sound sooo deliciously good. I was wondering if you taste just as great"
or
scene number 2:
"OH look! i see a rainbow up there! Oh nahs, my bad. It's just you, Rainbow! How silly of me!"
you'd be digging a deep pit to jump in or throw yourself off a cliff. so not cute.
People are becoming blase about names like Dick and Willy (not that i myself think they aren't funny anymore) but funnier names just keep coming up.
My sister used to have a friend named River. Her brother was Sky. And her sister, Valley
I reckon her parents are Village and Town. Must've worked too much for National Geographic and ended up totally off their rocker.
Was checking up some American phone directory the other day and the names some people have! Let's see. there was Long Harden, Bump Iona, Belch Verbyl (belches and barfs all over), Atlanta Wee Wee ( -he's an inspector, btw)..Ben Schlanker (schlong+wanker?) Oh! and there was Lunatic Fringe.
GOD! What were their mums and dads thinking!
You may think im being such a meanie scorning people's names. But at least this will save my mum from my perpetual whining on why she did't name me Angel, Princess, Alicia, or Jessy instead. At least i'm now aware that i should be thankful they did't name me Bubble, Peppermint or Cloud.
BIG thanks to mum and dad!
sparkle in glamourous divine with Miss Vainity on Sunday, March 19, 2006
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
oxymorons! loads and loads of them!
yes. i'm induced in a state of psychological contradictions.
But before you make a federal case out of it, let's start with
the fundamentals. DEFINITIONS!
To those of you still pondering over my title;
"oxymoron" isn't a pimple gel nor an insolent obnoxious creep.
neither is it a person who is too dumb to inhale oxygen.
its simply defined as a rhetorical figure in which an epigrammatic effect is created by the conjunction of incongruous or contradictory terms.
yeah, that's a mouthful.
we see it in the newspapers, books, and shakespearic novels, etc.
So, i've been making up some oxymorons and if you're in the mood, do add some to comments.
i know this is kinda spastic, but i'm gonna rate them!
- a deafening silence [very CLICHE]
- a mournful optimist
- gentle restlessness
- cruel kindness ~boring!?
- humanitarian invasion
- constant variable
- genuine imitation
- funky white guy [h.a.h.a]
- conservative liberal
- And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true [vicious cycle]
- accidental propaganda
think contradictory people!
sparkle in glamourous divine with Miss Vainity on Wednesday, March 01, 2006
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